


Loved the Stars Too Fondly

by Mikkal



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Major character death - Freeform, Multi, OT3, OT3: Westhallen, Platonic Relationships, Season 2 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 03:31:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6140228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikkal/pseuds/Mikkal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six moments.<br/>Six ways to say "<i>I love you.</i>"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loved the Stars Too Fondly

**Author's Note:**

> Just Imagine (minus one)
> 
> 100 Ways to Say "I Love You" (only six of them)
> 
> Much love to hedgi for the cat.

“ _I have loved the stars too fondly_

_to be fearful of the night._ ”

                        — _The Old Astronomer_

Sarah Williams

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_i: imagine the words resting quietly on the air, spoken in time with the rising sun and the soft whispers of morning_

_50: “I think you’re beautiful.”_

She wakes to tickles on her shoulders, the tips of someone’s fingers drawing infinity symbols on her skin. Iris smiles into her pillow, know instantly that it’s Eddie. His own little way of saying ‘ _screw the future’_ without giving it a voice, without giving that possible future the importance it doesn’t deserve. Even if Barry repeats over and over again that the stupid article isn’t—c _an’t be_ —real, they don’t risk it.

            “’morning,” Eddie whispers, his lips pressed against her temple.

            Iris hums, finally opening her eyes to the light of an early dawn. Barry’s warm at her side, curled up, his head angled toward her, looking soft and carefree in a way he’s not when he’s awake. She smiles and cards her fingers through his hair. He snuffles and snuggles closer, throwing an arm over her back and pulling himself flush against her. All while asleep.

Eddie huffs a fond laugh and she turns to capture the sound into a kiss. He makes a surprised, but pleased sound in the back of his throat, and she gets to watch his eyes flutter close.

She pulls back and he opens his eyes, smiling at her. “You know,” she murmurs, voice rough from sleep, her hand still carding through Barry’s hair as she speaks. The sunlight is a little stronger now, golden through the blinds and matching Eddie’s hair almost perfectly. It’s a sight that takes her breath away, a surge of emotion in her chest that too much for too early in the morning. If only Barry were awake, he’d grab his Polaroid her dad bought him and take a snap of this perfect sight. “I think you’re beautiful.”

His cheeks flush pink and his smile grows softer. _That’s_ the reaction she hopes for every time. If she doesn’t get it, something’s definitely wrong. He ducks his head, pressing their foreheads together, breathing deep, like he can’t believe she’s here.

Iris hooks her arm around his neck, bringing them closer than should be possible. He drops down on her gently, letting her carry his weight. His shoulder presses against her chest and even now she can feel the ugly, rough, puckered skin of the bullet that took him away for too long.

Barry’s hand dragging up and down her waist startles her into a laugh. She turns to see him grinning at her, his eyes still sleepy. Eddie’s nose is in her ear now and that only makes her laugh harder. Barry swoops in and steals a kiss from her she so readily gives. Eddie leans off of her, reaching out to cup Barry’s cheek and nudging him closer.

Iris lays under them, her smile uncontrollable at this point. Sleepy, warm, comfortable, loved. It’s…beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_ii: imagine them bursting forth in the middle of a laugh, childish in their enthusiasm, but shocking enough to silence all sound_

_14: “Can I have this dance?”_

STAR Labs is…warm, Cisco thinks. It’s been awhile since his home away from home has actually felt like home, but it does again and they only had to have a major tragedy, like, twelve times. But Ronnie’s back, Eddie’s back, Harrison Wells is actually Harrison Wells this time, and they have an actual plan to stop Zoom.

            But, for once, they’re not here for heroics, the ‘ _Happy Birthday, Cisco_ ’ tells an entirely different story. His chest is warm from the one…two shots he had with Thea and Roy, the beer in his hand is still chilled, the corner of his mouth is sticky from the cake Linda made (she made three, Barry ate two). He’s _happy_ , laughing at one of Laurel’s jokes, hanging off Iris who can barely keep him up right because she’s laughing just as hard.

            There’s music playing in the background—if he were to take Harry’s expression at face value he’d say it’s awful music, but Cisco hears Lady Gaga’s distinctive voice and, what can he say, listening to it while Barry was in a coma gave him a bit of a taste for it. 

            Speaking of: Barry flashes up, his hair a mess, his cheeks flushed, the suit on its stand a little haphazard. He kisses Iris chastely and then wraps his arms around Eddie’s waist, leaning most of his weight on his boyfriend. Eddie grunts and leans against the desk, throwing an arm over Barry’s shoulders.

            “What was it?” Cisco asks. “Cat in a tree? Did you bring it with you? I wanna name it Fuzzwhump.”

Barry laughs. “Car without a driver,” he answers. “No one got hurt, minus the driver. He got road rash from throwing himself out the door. Dude was drunk and thought an out of control car going 35 miles per hour down a hill was safer than drunk driving.”

Cisco actually has to think about that. Was it safer? The room is a little too bright to think clearly right now. Oh, look, Caitlin and Thea tag-teamed to get Harry in a Grumpy Cat shirt—best. birthday. ever.

            Suddenly his Iris crutch is missing and he wavers for a moment. He swears he’s not that drunk, he’s just happy and warm and there’s so much good cheer and laughter. It’s really the best birthday he’s had in a very long time. She moves to pull Eddie over to Caitlin and then it’s just him and Barry.

            He raises an eyebrow at Barry, but the other man just grins happily at him. Damn him and his cheeky smiles. If it weren’t for Eddie and Iris, Cisco would snatch that hero right up.

            Barry holds out a hand, curling his fingers invitingly. “Can I have this dance?” he asks, not a hint of teasing behind his smile. The roaring always in the back of his mind, even before he knew why it was there, silences for a startled moment and Cisco’s stomach swoops.

            Cisco doesn’t even hesitate, just grabs his hand and lets Barry pull him into the clear area in the Cortex. Clarissa’s changed the song to something slower with some happy lyrics.

            Barry’s tall enough Cisco can rest his head against his chest, mimicking Iris and Eddie. She giggles and winks at him, Cisco sticks his tongue out at her. If she’s not careful she’s going to be stuck with one boyfriend because he’s going to sway Barry to his side with food and candy.

            Cisco presses his ear closer and he can hear the hummingbird beat of Barry’s heart. It’s reassuring, comforting to hear over the music as they sway together.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_iii: imagine choked out in relief as hands race over skin, checking for injuries and begging for reassurance_

_98: “Take a deep breath.”_

He wakes up with a scream caught in his throat, but Caitlin’s already there, grabbing his shoulder before he can sit up. It doesn’t matter, his whole body throbs in pain from his teeth to his toes and he moans out loud.

            “You’re okay,” she says, her voice hushed and panicked. “Barry, you’re okay, all right?”

            He gasps, hyperventilating. Sparks and shadows dancing in his vision. He closes his stinging eyes, a few tears escaping down his cheeks.

            “C-Cait-Caitlin,” he whimpers.

“Barry, _Barry_ ,” she says softly, gently, still panicked but muted now. “Breathe. Take a deep breath.” He shakes his head, trembling. “Yes you can,” she insists. Why, why? Doesn’t she _know_? “ _Take a deep breath_ ,” she repeats, orders. “You can do it.”

            He does. It’s not as deep as she probably wants and he promptly chokes. An oxygen mask is presses firmly to his face and he gets a lung-full of pure oxygen. It burns just a little, but it makes everything a little easier. He opens his eyes again and meets Caitlin’s gaze. Her expression goes from panicked to relieved, her own eyes shiny.

            She collapses into a chair, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. “Thank God,” she says, shaky, watery. “Thank God. We were so worried you weren’t—,” she cuts herself off, taking a deep breath.

            Barry just lays there, blinking dazedly now that the initial spike of pain is gone, and watches her steel herself to flutter around his bed, checking machines and numbers. She double-checks his heart rate five times, even gets to the point of holding his wrist to manually check. The wound on his side she keeps from lifting the bandage by sheer will alone, he sees her reach for it then pull away before she gets too close.

            “What happened?” he rasps out.

            Caitlin looks at him in dismay. “You don’t remember?”

            It looks like he’s suppose to. It _feels_ like he’s suppose to. He hurts so much, how could he forget something like that?

            And then it hits him.

            Iris. Eddie. _Eiling_.

            Suddenly he’s fighting to sit up and Caitlin’s pushing down on him again, but he’s not having it. His chest screams at him, ribs still healing, his leg is broken, his shoulder feels like it’s been recently popped back in, his head throbbing in time with his heart—but he doesn’t stop fighting to sit up.

            “Barry!” Caitlin shouts. “They’re fine! I promise. Eddie had a concussion, Iris broke her wrist. Eiling was after _you_ , not them.”

            “I can’t,” he gasps. “I c-can’t—.”

            She places both hands gently on his shoulders and looks him dead in the eye. “Take. A. Deep. Breath,” she sounds out slowly, softly. “They are at home. It’s been three days and they needed to sleep. Let me call them okay?” She drags her hands slowly down his arms, squeezing ever-so-slightly in comfort. “Just take a deep breath.”

            Barry nods and sags against her despite the pain. He rests his head on her shoulder and just breathes.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_iv: imagine them shouted at top volume, in the middle of an argument, never meant to come out that way._

_86: “You’re important too.”_

Eddie can barely eat, his stomach tight and his mouth dry. Barry eats at half the speed he normally does, seemingly fully aware of the tension mounting. Iris picks at her food, eating individual pieces of shrimp with her chopsticks before moving to the next piece from her fried rice.

            “Jesse has to be saved,” Barry says finally. “And the only way to do that is to go to Earth-2.”

            Eddie runs a hand through his hair, abandoning his food in favor of meeting Barry’s green gaze head on. “I get that. I do. Harry and Cisco’s plan seems sound.” Never mind the fact he still doesn’t trust the man who has the same face as his great-great-great-plus grandson—Cisco agreed the plan will work. “I just—.”

            “Don’t you think you’re throwing yourself into this too soon?” Iris chimes in. “I know your back is healed, but I don’t think…Barry, you’re still having problems hitting your previous top speed. If you can’t hit the speed Zoom already beat you at, what’s the point of going to Earth-2, right into his claws?”

            Barry sighs, jabbing his chopsticks into his rice and leaving them there. “I’ve got to try, all right? Jesse doesn’t even have powers. She’s just a kid caught up in a mess she doesn’t need to be involved in.”

            “You’re going to get yourself killed,” Eddie snaps harshly. Barry doesn’t even flinch. Like he _knows_ this plan has a low chance of him coming home. He shoves his chair back, jumping to his feet. “You don’t even care, do you?”

            “ _Of course_ I care!” Barry practically shouts back, standing too. Lighting sparks on his finger tips, but he doesn’t run. “You guys always accuse me of caring too much. This should be expected!”

            Iris sighs, rubbing her forehead, closing her eyes. “And we love you for it,” she says heavily. “But you _know_ we’re right about this. Why don’t you let Caitlin work on Velocity more so Jay can have his speed and Cisco develop his powers so they’re more reliable and _then_ you can go to Earth-2? You’d have better back up.”

            “We don’t have the time,” Barry argues. “Do you really think Zoom’s going to let Jesse live now that Harry’s not going to give him more of my speed? It’s important we do it _soon_.”

            _“You’re important too_ ,” Eddie shouts. Barry’s mouth snaps shut and blinks owlishly at him, shocked and surprised. Eddie sighs, sagging. “You’re important too,” he repeats, softer. “I’m tired of seeing you throw yourself into danger for others. What are we supposed to do when you don’t come back one day? You care about everyone else more than you do yourself, but did you ever think about how we would feel if you never came back?”

            Barry takes a step back, opening his mouth and shutting it again.

            “You didn’t, did you?” Iris asks, sounding resigned. “You think we’d be better off without you, don’t you?” Barry doesn’t answer. “Of course you do,” she sighs. She covers her face with both hands. “God, Barry. Why? _Why?”_

“I just…I don’t know,” he replies, sounding lost. “It…I’m sorry.”

            “You’re still going,” Eddie states, sliding back into his seat.

            “Y-Yeah,” Barry says. “I can’t. I _can’t_ leave Jesse there.”

            “You _have_ to come home,” Iris all but demands. “You have to come home to us.”

            Barry touches a knuckle to his mouth, nodding solemnly. “I will,” he says. “I will, I promise.”

            Eddie presses his lips together thinly, eyeing the tense lines in Barry’s shoulders. He sighs and grabs the bag of sugar donuts, shoving them into the center of the table. Barry’s lips quirk in a small smile and he sits back down, grabbing a donut.

            The conversation’s not over, far from it. But there’s a few more days until they’re set to leave for Earth-2. Eddie’s not going to be able to keep Barry from going, but he _can_ make sure it’s engraved into his mind that he’s not allowed to risk himself over there. He does indeed have to come home, _to them_.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

_v: imagine them repeated, quietly, with desperate eyes, and a defeated voice._

_88: “I’ll see you later.”_

She finds them in the hollow of a destroyed building—it actually looks like it used to be the CCPN. Eddie’s distinctive in his bright blue even with the soot and the blood staining it. He’s curled over a darker figure, the red barely visible through the grime.

            Barry’s foot twitches in time with a cry of pain. Iris rushes forward in time to watch him arch, thrashing weakly. Eddie holds on to him tightly in his lap, keeping him in place, whispering soothing words that are just meaningless sounds at this point.

            She drops to her knees on Barry’s other side, her hands hovering over his torn chest uselessly. “What happened?” she demands.

            Eddie glances up at her, his eyes supernaturally bright blue, his cheeks shiny with tears. “Zoom’s gone,” he whispers. “I’m still not sure how, but he is. They disappeared.” He chokes on a sob. “He came back like _this_. Iris, I don’t know what to do. My healing—my h-healing’s not w-working. _Iris_ —.”

            Barry’s hand shoots out, vice gripping her forearm as another wave of pain makes its way through his body. He tenses, shuddering, fresh blood bubbling up from the corner of his mouth. Iris covers his hand with hers, digging her fingers into his glove.

            “You’re going to be okay,” she says hoarsely. “Jay’s getting Cisco, okay? He’s going to get here and we’re going to get you to STAR Labs and Caitlin and Eddie are going make you better. You _have_ to be okay, Barry.”

            He vibrates, indistinctive for too long of a moment. Lighting flashes in his eyes, his eyelashes clumped thick with tears. He looks up at them, eyes shiny and tear-filled. “’ _m s-s’rry_ ,” he slurs out, his jaw clenched.

            “No, no, shhh,” Iris says, half-hysteric. “Don’t talk. Save your breath. We’re gonna get you help, promise.”

            Eddie sobs again, curling even more over him. “You can’t leave,” he chokes out. “You _can’t_. You’re suppose to stay with us. We’re suppose to take Turtle for a walk tomorrow, remember? You wanted to go to that beach this weekend. _We have plans_ , together.”  

            Iris pulls off Barry’s gloves, finger by finger. His pinky is twisted wrong, but he doesn’t even react. She tangles their fingers together, carding her other hand through his hair, her knees touching Eddie’s until they’re both curled over their boyfriend. His hair is tacky with blood and she can feel a sizeable lump, he doesn’t flinch when she touches it and she has to swallow the sudden bile threatening to crawl up her throat.

            His eyes are glazed, half-lidded, drifting from Eddie to Iris, the hint of a reassuring smile forming at the corner of his lips.

            “Of a-anyway to g-go,” he whispers, barely there. “T-This is g-good.”

            “Don’t talk like that,” Iris hisses. She squeezes his hand a little too hard. “Barry, _please_ —.”

            He sighs, closing his eyes, relaxing. “I’ll s-see you l-later,” he breathes out.

            “No, no, no,” Eddie babbles. “You can’t. Barry—.”

            Barry squeezes her hand, the lightest of pressure. He doesn’t have enough strength. “I’ll see you later,” he repeats, a sigh of words lost in the wind.

            Iris clutches his limp hand to her lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, choking on tears that are too thick to hold back. Not that she wants to. Eddie, Eddie just screams, raw, uncontrolled, lost, clinging to Barry like his will alone will bring him back.

            He’s not coming back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_+i: imagine the first time they say “I love you.”_

_100: “I love you.”_

Barry can’t help but stare at them, he’s almost embarrassed until he remembers he’s _allowed_ to stare now. So he does unabashedly. Iris in her short white cocktail dress that fits her figure perfectly, her heels a dark red that matches her lipstick shade for shade. Eddie is in a simple dark gray number with a blue tie that brings out the brightness of his eyes, but it’s the vest that Barry loses all train of thought for.

            He feels too small for his suit, but the way Iris keeps tugging at his tie like it’s taking everything in her power not to use it to bring him into a kiss means he probably doesn’t look as ridiculous as he feels. He swipes another quiche from the tray walking by before turning his attention back to Singh’s speech.

            Eddie walks up to stand beside him, placing a hand on his waist and pulling him closer. He’s warm at his side, comforting. Iris looks like she’s chatting with the Mayor’s wife and he’d not dare interrupt her now.

            “How’s it going?” Eddie breathes in his ear, making him shiver.

            “Bored,” he whispers back. He’s good for science, not cameras. He’s not meant to be here, just behind the scenes. There’s too many cameras now for his comfort.

            Eddie laughs softly. “I have an idea.” He waves Iris over and it doesn’t take long for her to bid the Mayor’s wife a farewell.

            “What’s up?” she asks when she’s close enough.

            Some how Eddie’s idea leads them to a 24hr Diner that’s empty except for one lone trucker at the counter. They slide into a booth in their fancy clothes, Iris snorting at an awful chemistry joke Eddie _tried_ to make. Barry sides across from them so he can see them side by side, feeling a sudden surge of warmth in his chest at the sight. He coughs to dislodge the strong emotion from his throat.

            “You okay?” Iris asks. Some of her hair’s escaped her up-do, curling over her forehead, the short hairs at the base of her neck frizzing out a bit. Her lipstick is duller now, her eyeliner a little smudge.

            He nods. “Yeah,” he manages to get out.

            Eddie raises an eyebrow. He’s done away with his tie and opened the first few buttons of his shirt. He’s run his hand through his hair enough times he looks like he just got out of bed or Iris just got done making out with him. “You sure?”

            Barry smiles. “I’m sure. I just…” They tangle their hands together on top of the table and Iris reaches for him. He takes her hand as she curls her fingers around his, Eddie reaches over and grabs his wrist, thumbing his pulse. “I love you,” he says, his chest heavy, his words laced with emotion he doesn’t think he can accurately put to voice.

            Iris knocks her foot against knee. “That’s good, because I love you too,” she says, sounding breathless.

            “It’s a good thing this mutual,” Eddie says with a smile. He looks close to tears. “Or else this would be really awkward.”

            Barry laughs, loudly, causing the trucker to glance at them, the knot in his chest loosening. He takes his hand back from Iris and wraps it, instead, around Eddie and hers joined hands, feeling the warmth and the weight.

            Feeling the spark of lightning.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, im sorry. Did I kill barry again??????


End file.
